(its a halloween and finally i finished this story just before that day...)
March 15 at exactly 7:00 PM. This day and time in an unknown
year, I found myself lying 6 feet underground in an old, wretched cemetery were
all dead are nothing but menace of society or plain individuals in our city
that are forgotten by either the people or time. Most of the tombstones here
are smeared with the filth of the past. Some are broken to pieces courtesy of
all the drunks and punks who having a good time smashing things, believing and
convincing themselves that destruction and chaos is a part of their way of
life. That’s how they have fun. Others who are more artistic and have a knack
in word play opted to vandalized baroque style mausoleum with statement like
“Rot in Hell”, “Rest in Peace with the Pigs” or they will just draw human
reproductive system with all the puerile hands of a 3 years old kid. Seriously,
I’ll be glad if only these good for nothing let loose of their damnable
shenanigans on their own private way and not making this supposedly peaceful
place to be their play ground.
But this folks aren’t just contented with the dead. Most or
definitely in a frequent basis, do their tomfoolery with the living ones like
me. And do you think drunks and punks are the only one who can do that kind
“Happy Time”? No, you’re entirely wrong. Take it from me, nearly everyone in
our city are but plain damnable and far more worthy to rot in hell or rest in
peace with the pigs.
That’s why I envy the dead so bad. They already in paradise
with Jesus or if they are not Christians possibly they are still in paradise
with Buddha (of course I’m not really interested to those who are unlucky to be
thrown in the fires of hell. Believe me, I’ve seen hell in every place so I’m
really not interested at all) while me is here stuck in the middle of mindless,
heartless, depressing people that either break you or break you harder. I will
be totally grateful sometimes if somebody just pull a trigger and shoot me than
I continue living in this city where practically everyone has many options to
kill you in a slow and silent yet painful way. The horrid school place that
houses the awful and ill-mannered students and phony teachers. The park and
malls that consist of materialist dogs and disgusting love birds. The church
that I love before where all the pretentious can pray all they want and be
proud of their new stinking perfumes and branded but lousy clothes and even our
home that turns out to be a cold, mechanical clockwork place now. Everything
and everywhere, they all kill me slowly inside.
But they won’t kill me the last of me now. I’m here now,
lying in a cold coffin with a blanket of darkness covering my eyes. Just a
couple of minutes and I will leave now this place and at last I escaped the
curse of being alive. But things sometimes really won’t work the way we always
wanted to be. I never thought dying isn’t as easy as walk in the park nor as
fast as the train going east especially if you realized that playing dead can
be the damndest thing you will ever done in your entire existence. Take it from
me, I’ve seen more than a living nor dead wanted to see.
Seven in the morning.
Another day that will last like years or century. Seeing my
clock ringing like there’s no tomorrow signals me to wake up and start the day
right even though I already lost the meaning of that word since day one. It is
still pretty dark and outside due to the over cast grey clouds hanging in the
sky.
Good mourning people.
I descended to the
stairs without taking any glance in the mirror to look at myself or wipe some
drool hanging in my lips. Our house is quite big enough for the three us. It’s
a two – storey well designed dwelling place that exudes modernity like no
other. It’s pretty comfortable, it really should be. Perhaps our sweet velvet
couch will be more a couch if somebody will sit it every day. Our Plasma TV
will be more entertaining if all of us in our family will watch some shows
every night. And our kitchen, our very sophisticated dinning place that is good
for 10 people with an enormous ref that never lose any foods inside of it will
be the happiest place in this house. Unfortunately, I don’t need all of these
things because they just remind how empty and lonely our house is. Like for
instance now, I’ll be eating another box of cereal together with nothing but my
companion silence and emptiness. Have you ever experience eating in long table
with only empty seats besides you every day of your entire life? It’s freaking
hard. Sometimes I really have to swallow hard just to stop myself from sobbing
even my mouth is filled with cereals. I don’t want to cry like this, without my
father who is always in far places and digging and exploring nice places and my
mom is always as busy as hell as a government researcher. I only see her once
in a month while my father only shows during Christmas where he will just greet
us, eat with us, give us some gifts and then walk into the front door and
vanished. Most of the time I don’t see them in our house, not even a shadow. I
am independent and some kids envy it but I don’t. I would rather have a dozens of
brothers and sisters and a mother whom I can see her face every day and a
father where I can talk to all night and share my weird stories about school
life. I will trade my life for it but that won’t happen. It’s just a wishful
thinking that always kills me.
But this is only the appetizer of the day. The real is
suffering usually start in our school. Sir Albert Cunning High, that’s my
school and all hell spawn live there. I can almost visualize what is written on
its gate: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
As if I have no choice but to enter it even if I’m already running out of hope.
Sir Albert Cunning High or Sir Al High is your typical
private secular school boasting with lots of facilities. It has 30 rooms, one
gigantic sports gym and another humongous auditorium that is made for school
presentations and shows. The library is equally huge and houses thousands
collection of books and even antique tomes. It’s the perfect school for all
your academic needs due to its enormous size. But the fact is its spaciousness
just shows how lonely this is school for a guy like me. It’s big but
nonetheless everything else is virtually empty and useless.
“Hey Douche!” It’s the notorious bully in Sir Al High,
Jefferson the big guy wearing a black XL shirt with the word STFU printed in
acid yellow. He never runs out of partners in crime and today he has his army
of bullies that look goblins and imps with their pock marked faces and snarling
laughters. I automatically give him my
wallet which is by the way packed with bucks which is good for 3 months if you
are not too excessive in spending.
Quite shock, Jefferson looks at me cautiously and takes my
wallet. Then he smiles with his crooked teeth in metal. “Generous, very
generous but I won’t leave you without giving you my complimentary greeting”.
Suddenly his thugs surrounded me and start to grab my arm and my legs. Oh
shoot, it’s the first blood of my day.
I can still feel the throbbing pain in my jaw after Jefferson
give a well aimed right swing in my face. After they leave me lying with a
metallic taste in my mouth, I pick up my wallet which is perpetually empty and
go straight to the corridor where the scenes is so disgusting that I wanted to
spit. Along the corridors you can see the jocks of the school with their varsity
jackets, pinning down a helpless kid while they forcing him to eat something
gooey and black like I will care what is it. In the shadowy area, a couple is
having a steamy morning while they are necking each other. A professor who
passed by saw it with a wide eye excitement while licking his lips like a
madman. When he saw me staring at him he just take a quick nervous glance
towards his way like, probably embarrass with his voyeurism. Then there’s the
Goths and punks who only stare at you intently and then chuckle at your back
like they sharing an inside joke about your face. Those nerds are also the
same, talking gibberish thrash to let them know you that you’re an idiot and
lastly the girls. Since my early years in school, I have this belief that most
of the girls in the school are nothing but beautiful faces and probably have a
little inclination towards academic things. The only thing that matters to them
is to look beautiful by making their faces so white and chalky and spraying
themselves with pungent perfumes. As if it will make their stink go away, their
character always stinks. They only talk about boys and all and when they see
you looking at them there is only two things you should know: if you’re
handsome they will smile to you with their most pretentious sweetest grin or if
you’re a nobody they will just glare at you with their cold eyes with all the
disgust and curses written around their faces.
This is the real face of Sir Al High and every day is always
like this. Every day is exactly the same. Every day is a painful reminder that
I’m alive, everyday is another day to feel that I’m alive but dead.
“Ok class, will you please behave like a civilized kid living
in a civilized world.” Though the statement is clearly a rhetoric sign of anger
and annoyance, you can never sense any of it if the one who is yelling this is
no other than Dr. Mycroft Sterling. Dr. Sterling is our professor in History
class and he is certified the most patient guy in this school, or possibly in
the whole world. This 5 feet brown eyed award winning historian can withstand
the most noisiest and chaotic section in the entire Sir Al High, and that’s us
the seniors. He can discuss anything about Napoleon up to life of the Greeks
during the ancient age without being distracted at all with all the unruly and
disrespectful antics of my classmates which should never have the rights to
attend any class after all. High flying spit balls, boisterous laughing and
chatting, douche bags watching R – 18 movies in full volume, chumps who are
listening to their mp3 or reading comics and magazines like there is nobody in
front of us teaching us some worthy lessons far more useless than their lives.
Dr. Sterling just keeps the ball rolling and continues to give his discussion
without reading any book. Who needs books if it’s all in your mind? No wonder
all the America named his as the “Next Herodotus” after the father of history.
He is the leading historian and mythologist of our generation and by all means
a certified genius.
However, I still pity the guy for despite the fact that he is
great and famous, he is here standing in front of us like he is a nobody, like
he never exist. Just like me.
After saying a couple of introduction to our new lesson and
seeing that nobody giving him the attention that he needed, he grab his SONY
boom box speaker and played a classical and haunting symphony of Franz List
made for a tribute for Dante Alighieri. Suddenly the chaos begun to cease and
after some groans of disgust and anger and all the curses are being whispered,
everybody’s mouths are zipped. Seriously?
That’s all what it takes to make them stop?
“I see now that you have my full attention” Dr. Sterling
gives us his innocent but sarcastic smile. “So I was saying a while ago”
Clearing his throat for a moment as he begun to discuss our lesson. “Burial
rites in every part of the globe might be diverse due to the culture and
religion that makes all society different. However, death is and always be the
same no matter how different the ceremony or the rites we conduct. These rites
are not just a way of putting the love ones of our forefathers in their proper
resting place. Burial rites is more than just placing or covering the whole
body of the dead with linen like in Egypt or burn them in boats like what the
Viking has taught us. It’s a process of making an initial step in securing that
the soul of dead ones will be safe in its journey to the unknown world of the
unspeakable nature.”
“What an old boring geezer” somebody just chuckle in the
back. Random laughters are heard inside our room but Dr. Sterling just continue
explaining a lot of stuff about the history of burial rites and how it varies
and differs around the world and yet it still the same theme of safe journey
towards the world of the dead. I found myself glued with the topic as I learn
that being dead is not as dumb as what the horror movie portrays us. It’s
particularly fun and exciting.
I learned that being
dead is just like travelling from place to place until you reach the last stop
of your journey. In addition to this, it’s not just a typical long and boring
high way drives. It is more like an adventure or some gauntlet that will make a
shame out of Dungeons and Dragons. As Dr. Sterling continues, I begun to
realized a growing yearning to take that journey which technically requires me
to leave this life of mine. Before our class end, I discovered a slight
interest of being dead. I know this is sound suicidal but I think I wanted to
see for myself how it’s like to die. ASAP.
“So class, who wants to experience what it feels like inside
a coffin?” Dr. Sterling give a casual smile that somehow trying to make a dare
out of us. It sounds silly but I’m quite excited about it so I raised my hand
not knowing I’ve fallen into my classmate’s idiotic trap. “Hey look, there’s
someone who wants to be buried alive!” a no sense remark from the Football team
captain echoes within the room. Laughters that sounded like a whole flock of
noisy crows feasting a carrion which turns out to be me. “So you wanna die now
dude? Is that how miserable your life is?” the laughter goes louder and louder.
I begun to feel a surging tension inside me that I needed to control for
showing that I’m offended or insulted would spell defeat against this morons.
“If you want to I can kill you now man!” a rough looking rascal in leather
jacket blurted out while playing his Swiss knife in his arms. Then the laughter
begun to take another form, these hopeless beings began to chant “Kill, Kill,
Kill” all over again.
Dr. Sterling seems rattled by the barbaric chants by the look
on his face. But before he can speak any word which I believe starts with the
word “stop”, I made a move that I think no sane individual should ever do. I
approach that knife wielding rascal and stare at him like I’m going to hurt him
in a multitude way. He then stared back at me as if challenging to come closer
to taste his stainless steel blade. Without any thoughts inside my head, I
grabbed his arm where he holding his knife. I slash my wrist with his knife and
blood begun spurt in his face. Horrified by my macabre act he shoved me away
with his trembling hands and distorted facial expression of fear.
“My God! You’re insane!” he says with stammering voice. The
whole classes stop their monotonous chanting as they saw bright red blood
flowing down in my arms. All girls begun to shriek while the boys are terribly
scared with what they saw. It’s their
first time I guess.
I stare at them with my eyes and made a short litany that I
don’t think that is coming from me that time: “So you think I’m scared to die?
Let me tell you a secret then: I’m already dead before I slashed this wrist of
mine. I no longer feel alive at all. I died since the day I realized that I’m
living in a world full of people like all you. Happy now?”
The ring of the bell is the only thing that brings my senses
back again. My classmates without any further adieu begun to rampage into the
door of our room. At first I still can’t comprehend what happens that time.
Then it sinks in to me: I scared the hell out of them. I begun to laugh like
it’s the first time that I did it in my entire life. I’m so happy to see their
faces with terror written on it. But nonetheless I’m happy that for the first
time in my life, I feel like the elusive stream of life begun sprinkle some of
its droplets in my soul. I want to capture that moment for a life time. I want
to hold on to this and never let time ruin it. I wish it will stay forever but
a voice inside our classroom begun to shake off the dust of my fantasy.
“My boy, I think we need to see the doctor now”. Dr. Sterling
voice is infused with dread and concern. He looked at me with those eyes that I
wish my father and mother or everybody else would look at me: the looked of
someone who care. I glance at my wrist in which a visible slit mark appears
with over flowing blood that makes the skin of my arm to look like a mutated
crimson arm. I’m losing a bucket of blood and that’s something I never really
thought before taking that knife. After a second my vision begun to wobble
until everything begun to fade. The chairs, the black board, that white painted
door and even Dr. Sterling begun to fade away while he is running towards me.
So this is how it feels like to die. Everything you know just fade away like
they are made by sand and blown by an unknown wind that you can’t feel its
gust. I fancy seeing a light that will appear above me but I guess that’s only
for good guys after all. Then my whole body begun to fade too and soon my death
wish will be granted by someone.
They say that when you died, all your senses will cease to
function. Like if somebody click the power button of an appliances and unplug
it from an outlet, the body they say lose its usefulness. But of course, were
not machines so when our power switch turns off and we are unplugged in the
outlet of life, it will be permanent and irrevocable. Perhaps that is the
reason why as long as we have life, we have to do what we really wanted to do
and make every second of our everyday counts. Our days are numbered and every
wasted day will non-changeable and unlike mix tapes, we can’t play it all over
again in our own leisure. I guess life becomes more meaningful when you realized
those things. When you finally learn that someday, somehow you’ll be dead and
gone in the face of the earth; chances are you will enjoy living your very
short and temporary lives. Unfortunately I didn’t understand those lessons very
much before I found myself inside this coffin. After all, I’m more concerned to
be dead than to live. I don’t regret the fact that I slit my wrist out of
impulse and make a very terrifying finale before the last curtain fall. I’m not
ashamed that I might put the name of our school or even my family in disgrace
knowing that I committed a “suicide” (which is questionable because I don’t
have any thoughts about during the time I made that act) and as far as I know
the whole neighborhood starts spreading rumors that I’m a psychotic anti-social
kid who wanted to be noticed and seek some attentions. Maybe that’s true or
maybe they are the ones who needed the attention to knock their senses out. But
that doesn’t matter; the living didn’t care at all so why wouldn’t I?
But to tell you honestly, I’m wondering what my mom and dad
feels after they discovered that I killed myself inside our classroom. I wonder
if they cried or get angry with what I’ve done. Did they finally found out that
they there are one of the main reasons why my life becomes useless? Did they
feel guilty or sorry about it? Did they feel ashamed of themselves for the fact
that they are incapable of giving love and care to their one and only son? Will
they miss me? Will my whole classmate miss me? Or will someone miss?
It sound pathetic but at that moment, I sort of miss the
world I used to belong. I feel a different kind of loneliness, the loneliness
when you felt when you’re leaving someone or something. That kind of loneliness
that isn’t hard to understand since everyone knew what that is. I know it’s
strange I really don’t owe anything to them but damn it, for a brief moment I
wish I could just say a proper farewell to them even though they make me feel
dead and empty. The life of a living individual made me sick but nevertheless
I’m once belong to their ranks. I’m once a living being and after realizing it,
it reminds me more that it kills me more than anything else.
Just then, after the endless darkness of staying inside this
coffin (which I didn’t know if it’s hot or cold inside of it) a bright light
begun to blind my sight (and I wonder how that is possible since I’m probably
decomposing now). Then suddenly I remember the discussion of Dr. Sterling in
the last academic lesson of my life. This could be the beginning of my journey
as a dead man. I have to seek the place where soul rest in peace in a
perpetually eternal state. Will it be like going into the gates of Hades and
accosted by Cerberus? Or the boat adventure in the Nile River like the god Ra
did? How about descending to Hell then to Purgatory and lastly to Paradise just
like the Italian poet Dante?
But before I start to recall all the places that I can go in
afterlife, I suddenly found myself floating in a dead space. Yes, I can totally
sense my body once more although I feel so light like a loose balloon that
time. Where am I?
Everything is so dark. Darker than the blackest thing I’ve
ever seen when I was still alive. It’s the kind of darkness that when your eyes
stare at it for a long time it will be blind in a painless way. At first I feel
disappointed that my supposed grand journey in the realm of dead is nothing but
a tireless and boring trip to oblivion where I will be forever floating in
total darkness. But after a few seconds, the void where I am suspended began to
conjure miniscule spots of lights around me. They look like sparkling dust
which sends off soft and unworldly lights. One by one they glow and scattered
from every corners. Until I finally understand where am I. I’m in outer space! And I’m freaking floating in the midst of stars!
So my journey in the land of dead starts in an intergalactic
adventure. I never expect that Death is also fond of science fiction themes
when you’re visiting his abode. I always thought it will be more like ancient
and magical. But in space? It’s either I’m lost or something like a special
treatment is coming up for a poor soul like me.
Then things become more strange and cruel. The beautiful stars
that surround me become hazy and their colors begun to shift in different
colors. They look like giant Christmas lights in one dark winter. Its colorful
but in due time they begun to induce fear inside of me. The shift of their
colors starts from slow pulsating movements then to rapid flicker of lights
that makes my head throbbing in the same manner that their colors change. How
can I possibly still feel pain though I’m already dead? This is ridiculous, but
I feel like my head will going to explode. The fast blinking of all the stars
terrified me so much that I think I’m also flickering. And it really does! My
whole body starts to flicker madly; I turned to red, yellow, blue, green and so
many colors that I’ve never seen in the rainbow. I don’t know what’s happening
and I wish this will end. Within a minute the stars stop blinking and they
begun to radiate a searing light that brightens the whole area where I am
floating. One by one they began to send of bright and fiery rays that burns not
just my eyes but my whole body. Is this a bright version of hell? The whole
void is filled with light like millions of suns begun to rise and cover the
sky. The harsh light swallows the whole space. Slowly I fade once again but
this time; all the particles in my body are being tear pieces by pieces in my
own naked eye. I don’t any feel pain at all but it scares me to see myself
seeing being ripped apart until what’s left is nothing but dust and
unrecognizable particles.
You think it was all over? No, not yet. That is just the
appetizer I believe. After being trapped in darkness and light I am now in the
most bizarre place in the whole world. Or perhaps in the whole universe.
Exaggerated? Cliché? No, no, no. I know what I’ve seen and what I’ve
experience. If the fact that I’m lost in space all alone is not enough, then
what will happened next to me will clearly defined what is fear all about and
perhaps lead me to regret why in the first I ask for death without knowing what
is really behind its hollow eyes. I found myself once again in an empty void
floating endlessly. But instead of stars that I hope I won’t see again and
perpetual darkness, the void is now bathed in swirling colors. Its hell’s
version of psychedelic that instead of making me high and euphoric, it assault
my mind (if dead people still have it) with hallucinations of some sort that
push me further into the edge of my sanity. The swirling mass of colors that
surrounds me created bizarre and unusual patterns in the most erratic fashion.
Its dizzying effect puts a toll in my brain that makes me see twisted faces of
agonizing pain; moaning and screaming in fear of something that is unseen. They
are countless and they are all closing against me. Why on earth I feel suffocated if I’m tad dead now! With a feeble
effort I start swinging my arms to shove off those harrowing faces. Cold sweat
makes me sluggish but I managed to hit one those faces. But to my horror,
instead of relief, I just make things to become worse. Yes, I did hit a certain
face but it begun to melt like a wax in my hands. Slowly it oozes until it
covers my whole arms and without a blink it shrouded my whole body. I scream
but my voice is a mere whisper compare to the wailings and spine shivering
screams of these unidentified nightmare. It devours me until I become one of them;
a face without an identity lost in this kind of void and unfortunately lost
outside the universe and to everything that exist.
I though that’s the final stop in this nightmare of the dead
but to my dismay, I’ve only seen the surface. The cause of this journey that
more gruesome than hell will be unveiled ultimately after the oblivious
incident in the colored inferno.
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Darkness then Light. And after that, total chaos. I don’t
know but those patterns somehow make sense as I quite remember that day when
Dr. Sterling discuss about the myths and tales about the creation of the
universe which he always fancy to name it as the “Cosmos”. There are so many stories that tells about how did all
things started but one of the most interesting (or probably the only story I
remembered completely because my classmates as always puts a great time ruining
the whole discussion. It’s their talent that I wish they just keep for
themselves instead of sharing it like a plague) is that unknown myth where it
says that the creation occurs when two opposing forces; darkness and light
begun to fuse together. Dr. Sterling says that even though these two bore
outstanding differences, the force or energy that the combination of the two
will produce is so great and powerful because the contrasting power of light
and darkness is omnipotent. Think about nuclear fission wherein the splitting
of atoms can accumulate huge power that can blast off an entire nation or to
make it simple, think about the positive and negative poles of magnet that
emits a powerful bonding force. That’s what the fusion of light and darkness
can make; a power so great that it can create or destroy everything.
“Most of us tend to choose between good and evil, darkness
and light, positive or negative but the mystics and old world philosopher see
those two differently. They regard both light and darkness with high importance
in our lives as well for they believed that without any of these, the world
will never be born. The Chinese people made a beautiful representation of the
co-mingling of these two primary forces through the image of Ying-Yang. These
symbols show us that light and darkness can be transcended. We need not to
choose between each of them, we only need to embrace both of them for we are
also a creation made from light and darkness. We possess both the qualities of
this contrasting element, that’s why the human soul is no doubt a very
interesting object for it holds both the qualities to destroy and create. But
it depends on who acknowledge that power and what will he choose: to create, to
destroy or both”
“Both?”
I asked Dr. Sterling after our class since I found his last
statement a bit odd and impossible. I’ve always been taught to think in a
linear way like most of the people in this world but what Dr. Sterling told me
that day made me think about that life is big mystery that neither Sherlock can
crack. No, reason and intellect alone is not enough but maybe something greater
than those things will.
“I see. Maybe you’re confused why I said both but to be
honest, there’s nothing really surprising with that idea” Dr. Sterling smile as
he put all those thick leather bounded books in the shelves. We are in the
library that second time I step my foot on that place, I’m fond of learning new
stuff but I rarely touch a book especially the thick and no image books. It
gives me a terrible head ache.
“But why and how is that possible?”
“Before creation, there should be destruction. Just like how
life begins after death. It’s a cycle my boy, and it keeps on turning and
turning because it makes the whole cosmos in harmony. Remember this: The
contrasting forces of this world are important. They are created not for the
sole purposes to indicate something about our morality or way of living; they
are greater and mysterious than we already know about them. Want to have a good
example?”
“Sure sir”
“Well, let’s no go further. Let’s make you an example. You
have a great longing for death isn’t it?”
“W-well…don’t get me wrong sir but I’m not a suicidal kid. I
just have some issues…by the way how did you know that?”
Dr. Sterling laughs with like a grandfather who is amused
with his grandson that time. It’s a bit awkward but I found it nice.
“Because before, I was like you too. I long for death more
than ever…but then I realized a something that I wanted you to know. The more you
long for death, the more you also seek for life and vice versa. Strange isn’t
it?”
I found myself in awed as I listen to all those words from
this old genius. Perhaps reading a lot of old and dusty books can change how
you perceive things and transform your beliefs. Or maybe it is something to do
with his personal way of life. But who knows maybe it because of the wisdom
acquired from being old. Yet again, I feel something more than that to Dr.
Sterling as if he knew something more than what a normal person should know.
“Since you are my first student to show an interest in our
discussion, let me tell a secret then.”
I look at him with much curiosity and a slight anticipation.
“Does it involve the
secret on how you silence the class with that haunting music of yours?”
“No. Your classmate isn’t just accustom to the sound of hell,
unlike you and me.” He winked at me as if I get that both of us like the sound
of hell.
“Do you know who is the one that wager between the forces of
light and darkness in this world?”
“Hmm…no sir.”
He suddenly leans closer to me and whisper the answer in my
ear. That time we are both facing a glass screen in the book shelves so I
perfectly saw the face of Dr. Sterling. I wonder if it’s a mere illusion of
light or I’m just getting paranoid that time but what I saw with my own eyes
horrifies me that time. The face of the kind and patient of Dr. Sterling
suddenly shift into a face that nearly pinned me down for I clearly recognized
that face: a skull with hollow eye sockets and wide grin with black flames
dancing along the edges of its teeth. But what makes me froze in terror is the
voice that gave the answer to the question of the doctor. No, both the voice and
the answer literally send shiver not just in my spine but also to heart and
soul.
”They are the reapers.”
Out of nowhere I woke with all the sweat and tears flowing in
my face. My hands are trembling and my whole body is twitching madly because of
the insurmountable terror that creeps all over me. I can’t comprehend what
happens that time but I’m glad it’s all over now, albeit as stand up and grope
in the darkness, I suddenly remember what happens to me just before I woke up.
I quickly glance at my wrist and my fear goes in a scale so high I might not
contain it no more. There is still the slit that I made but there’s no blood
coming from it. I cast my eyes in my surrounding and I found myself in the old
and abandon cemetery with all tombs stone and crows that filling up my whole
senses. I look down and I saw instead of my bed, I’m sitting in my own coffin.
Dread is consuming me now; I shouldn’t really wish that before, now I’m reaping
what I sow before: the seed of fear and death.
Just then out of nowhere a figure appears in front of me like
a malicious apparition. I thought it was a ghost but as I saw the clothes it
wear: long sleeve polo shirt with a black vest and tie, I felt relieved that I
finally saw a living after that terrible journey. But to my dismay, I curse and
wish that I would rather spend in that oozing psychedelic place rather than
seeing this familiar face again, so familiar that it makes never brings
contempt but horror that no one can escape.
I should remember that clothes, those are the clothes of Dr.
Sterling and now he is staring at me with without his eyes but with a wide grin
where all the black flames of hell play.
“Too bad you can’t long for another life now.” he said as he
approach me and reach his bony arms toward me. Fearing what will happens next;
I close my eyes and just waited for my next demise. Unfortunately after a few
seconds, I feel a strange sensation in mouth. I open my eyes and I saw the face
of Dr. Sterling. Not the skinless and eyeless face but the old and sagacious face
of my professor in history.
“It’s now your turn my boy, to waged between darkness and
light” he said as I feel the fires of hell begun to rise in my hollow eyes and
mouth.
