Untold Affairs of love and Death

It takes me about two months to write a new short story. Not bad i guess and i definitely love this story i made which i found to be weird. Have you ever imagined Love and Death having a relationship before? Could it be possible? And what will be the fruit of the unlikely affair between the two oldest being of the universe? Here is what i think will happen dear brothers and sisters....

In a strange land where the world is still a newborn child. When the sea is still as blue as the sky and the land is still covered with colossal trees like skyscrapers and every corner are bursting with the aroma of flowers of all shapes and sizes. In a place where mankind  still not exist among rocks and stones and a world where primitive and simplicity of life is spoke of eternal antiquity that makes everything a part of nature and no one is regarded as the supreme steward of the world…a little bird is just an inch towards its final seconds of existence.

The animals of her kind as the well as the beast of the land and behemoth of the sea couldn’t fathom what is happening. With just a second they saw the bird tumbling and falling from the top of a jagged edge cliff. They are trying to express their amazement and fear in groans and screams that no one can comprehend at all as they witness the bird soar in the sky and fall with just a split second in pointed rocks at the bottom of the cliff. They spotted its motionless body, still warm and breathing yet covered in thick crimson fluid. A deer try to taste the viscous liquid for it’s their first time to see what blood looks like. They didn’t like the taste of it, and so does the sight of the little bird who is gasping for her life.

In the midst of the commotion that grows between the animals, they didn’t feel nor see that beside the bird, a woman dress in ripped black dress is kneeling beside her. The beautiful yet dreadful lady in black has a deep sorrowful set of eyes that has two colors: on her left is red while the other is purple. Her skin is as pale as the sickening moon light and her hair is braided with skulls but despite her awful appearance, the expression in her face is filled with an overwhelming sadness and confusion. Like those animals that  though can’t express neither emotion yet you can feel that they wanted to convey something, the lady in black is definitely feel lost and it seems she didn’t understand what she should with the little bird.

“What are you waiting for, go and take her with you now” a gentle yet strong voice suddenly arouse the pale lady from wallowing in sadness and confusion. A young man of such vigor and beauty emerge from nowhere. He radiates a bright yet invigorating aura like the sun rising after the endless darkness of the night. His skin is almost like gold in complexion while his robe is the color of purity and passion. The young man is flawless; there is no hint of impurity or grotesque stain of matter life. Such beauty is as strong as any spear, sword or gun in our life today. His beauty is something that can overthrow once kingdom or built it to last for eternity.

“You have to do it, it’s your job after all to take the life of others” the young man speaks as he approached the lady. Although her appearance is fearsome and her presence is composed of unwanted sensations, the lady in black only manages to utter meekly two words while looking down on the ground:

“I Can’t”

“But why? You’re Death! You’re in charge of making the lives of men come to an end. Without you doing you role, this world will never progress. No changes will occur and life will not begun”

Tears start to fall in the eyes of Death. It her first time actually to reap a soul. At first she thought her job is as easy as hitting switches when a certain times come up. When she was created, all she remembers was that she is only made for one thing all alone: to reap the souls and put an end to what is living when the right time came. But now as she stares at the broken body of the little bird, she can’t resist sympathizing and doubts cloud her mind if she should take the bird’s soul and let it die. She felt that she is not the one who have to this for her heart speak of pain and not of duty.

“It’s too young, too young to left this world…it didn’t even have the chance to it her life to the fullest, how am I supposed to take its life if I feel that she didn’t deserve  to die” Death sob as she speak in a sorrowful tone.

“I know, I know but think about it, taking away that bird’s life now will not make her suffer more and her family. Look, there is her mother and father, they are already crying” the beautiful young man says as he pointed two large birds who give a shrilling cried that deafens the whole forest but neither sadness is seen in their fa

ces, they just look at the body of the little bird and make sound.

“If you really care for the little bird, then you shouldn’t let her suffer this long. After all, end is inevitable and you are the sole envoy of this. This is your duty” said the beautiful young man as he makes a broad grin without any traces of lament in the situation.

Death, although still hesitant as she heard the man’s word timidly, wipes her tears and look at the man with her hollow eyes and ask: “Am not sure about it but are you really Love?”

The young man who is actually raised his brow and starts laughing with his soft and mellow voice.

“That’s really funny madam Death”

“No. I’m serious. Are you really Love? The envoy of compassion and care?”

Love stop laughing and as he realized that Death is not making fun of him.

“What makes you ask about it?”

“Well, I though Love always move and act from his heart. But it seems you act and move through mind and reasons alone, not with emotions and even feelings alone”

The young man which is actually Love fell silent as Lady Death touch the bird and with an instant the bird who by now is already lifeless and already knocking the gates to her grave begun to cough hard and begun to mumble and meekly cried like a new born baby something like it is begging for something yet it didn’t know how she will plead for it since no words can be uttered by her useless beak.

Lady Death scoops the blood of the bird in her hand and l pours it into its open beak. The little bird cough as it spit the blood the filled its beak. It quickly get up and soars up into the skies like there is nothing really happened to it. The whole crowd of animal begun to make a crazy uproar though within the back of their minds, they never realized that they witness the second and third miracle that happens in the after the creation of all cosmos: somebody died. And it came back to life.

Watching the whole scenario, Love can’t believe what he just saw with his own eyes. The envoy of end and change, Death give back the life of somebody who is supposedly and should be dead by now. He didn’t understand why this pale woman is opposing her nature as the personification of death and life. And how on heavens did she knows more about love and compassion than him? From the time that he was conceived from the egg laid by the sable being called Chaos, the first to exist before anything or anybody that crawls or floats, he already understood that he is the only one capable of planting to seed of compassion and care in this world. The nutritious need that will be nourish by two or even many creature that will gave meaning to all the things in the vast and complex circuitry of life.

And yet that moment he didn’t understand why instead of his heart, her mind dominate him and speak with sheer pragmatic and rational thoughts that create a delayed shock in his soul for Death’s word is by no doubt the truth. He act like he is not the envoy love. Death could be more capable he thinks to himself. Would that mean he is more suited for the works of taking ones soul? Or could that mean he is a malfunctioned creation of their creator? What a shame! He sigh out loud as he lost his thoughts to too many queries

Dazzled and ultimately confuse, Love go away and then he flew with his broad and robust wings towards the sky. Death only gazes at him with her cold yet lonely eyes. In her heart, she felt a little bliss that the little girl is saved but it can’t be helped that in her mind, she also felt confused. It makes him happy to save souls and yet her duty is to take them…and that is the right thing to do.

As the two make their own separate ways, little did they know The Elder also witness what happened. A look of impending worry is drawn in every crease of her faces.  Perhaps he realized that there is something wrong between the creation he made which is the persona of Death and Love. Something is not quite right, and he needs to do something about it. Or else, the infant world might not make his way through his maturity and end up in chaos and void again before even man is created.

That’s it! Creation. Genesis.

The Great Elder, who’s beard is as white as snow and clad in flowing robe made of star dust and cosmic threads begun to make a move that will put this seemingly innocuous yet perilous dilemma in correction; to fix the flaws the that might cause strife and disorder despite it’s simple yet trivial appearance.

Calling out his messenger which is an avian with wide wings as wide as the length of a young tree, the Elder command it with an amalgam of calm and strong tone.  

“Summoned in my presence both Love and Death”

The messenger split into two smaller version of itself: one is a winged creature in ebony feathers while the other one is an elegant avian in clean ivory shade of color. The two magnificent creatures flew in synchronized moment as they descend down from the abode of the creatures to find the two unlikely beings.

After for a couple of sand has been poured from the sandglass and the sun move an inch toward the place where sky and the ocean meet, Love and Death  found themselves in front of the The Elder. Basking the whole vastness of the sky with bright and dreamy light from the setting sun, the whole realm of heaven where The Elder resides shone like a blazing gold and fire and yet the calm and pure aura of benevolence makes you feel awed and tremble with beauty together with the masses of clouds that playfully creates all sorts of figures that even dreams can’t exhume.

Love and Death. Both have their own personal thought on why they are called by The Elder for they already know that nothing can escape the all seeing eye of the Great Elder, and obviously he already knows the driving force regarding the doings of Death and the display of too much rationality by Love.

“Now my children” The Elder spoke with his voice of all fatherly love as both Death and Love bow their head in reverence to their makers. “I wanted you to know that I’m not angry or disappointed with the two of you. In fact, you just make me proud with what you have shown lately.” A wide smile of childish nature intertwined with a proud tone from the Elder shocked both Death and Love. These two had already concluded that they will taste hurtful words or worse the full wrath of The Elder but hearing his words right now, it seems that they got it all wrong for their creator’s thoughts are utterly untraceable and undeniably too hard to comprehend.

“Love, my young envoy of passion and care. Behind the beauty I lay upon you, you also possess a firm obedience with the natural way of the world. It’s unnatural for Love sometimes defies even the natural way of things. That is what I saw however with Lady Death.” The Elder glance at Death who is quickly averts her eyes to The Elder out of shyness.

“Her acts of compassion regarding the little bird is a tell tale sign that sometimes, even the right thing to do should be push aside because of much greater things like love. And yet again, like Love, you show actions contrary to what you should be”

“The two of you possess great qualities that I’m glad manifested within the two of you. But what bothers me is that I think these qualities are not complementing to the nature that I laid upon the two of you…that means, I have to redo it all again”

Everything fell silent as The Elder gives a hint of slight troubled expression. The silence seems to send off an unknown uncertainty that even the clouds turn quite black as they somehow perceived the building of silence at the throne of the Elder.

But before the silence continue to become a sightless burden, The Great Elder begun to notice the split form of the flying messenger. They bore different and contrasting colors but when the truth is, they are just the same and one. Suddenly the Great Elder smile and finally the clouds begun to spread out, revealing a glorious ray of sun before night took it place.

“Love and Death, you need to be one once again”

Just after The Elder said this, both the eyes of Death and Love meet. In the midst of their superbly different appearance and astronomically dissimilar nature, that moment, both Love and Death felt a gradually unknown growing attraction towards one another. A subtle yet real force link a mystical chain that binds the two of them. Could it be the works of The Elder? But the Omni-creator is gone now from his throne. Only Love and Death remains  standing in front of the enormous throne made of unknown gems that is unearthly in their glow but suits the unknown force that slowly yet surely made Love and Death gets closer to one another…and in instant, another miracle just happened once more that time: Both sun and moon appears in the twilight sky. Closer and closer there circles joined and become one and eternal…so does the lips and body of the lady in black and the man in white touch each other. Soul to soul, Death and Love become one.

No one knows that time why two beings of spectacular sight lies among the clouds naked and their bodies are wrapped around each of their arms. No one could have though that this act, where two souls of undeniable contrast have reached the zenith of harmony and unity as their bodies are like puzzle pieces that fits one another perfectly. Like they are made for nothing but for each other to become whole and one. That is the act that signifies that each of us, no matter how different we are from every aspect, are one and the same and meant for one another.

The act last for unknown period of time but after Death and Love finally break the chains of their bond (for the time of being unified is finally done and time to split apart is about to start), the age of man take its first dawn. Though unaware of the identity of their first progenitors, man portrays qualities that no doubt belongs Death and Love. Those who inherit compassion and emotion of such purity and will to defy anything out of sympathy and care and a beauty that can end even the sturdiest metal and melt even the toughest gold, this being are called women and their mother is Love. On the other hand, the pragmatic and logical individuals who do what is just without any hint of reluctance, those who are driven by rationale as firm and as cold as ice yet behind is the their heart that only do what is right, this being are called men, the begotten son of Death.

Love and Death is now different from their past appearance now. The young men of vigor and radiance become the most beautiful being that the world has ever known with her long tresses, soft and delicate figure and soothing yet loving voice that always melt the heart of everyone and strengthen the spirit of the weak and powerful alike. And the lady in black whose eyes are the scion of somber and twin of lament is now covered himself in a robe more darker than the shadow of netherworld and his face is always veiled and nobody even remember now how he looks like now for everybody begun to fear his scythe. But despite of it all, many knew how important Death is and without him, life could never be justified.

It’s been a lifetime or longer since the Death and Love become one, but judging our world marching into the monarch of chaos and confusion now, the moment of their second unification will begun for the last grain of the sand is about to take its last fall, but only The Elder knows when will it be.

Bound to Study (and Bound to work eternally...or the other way around?)

“ Mahigit 14 years kang mag-aaral tapos habang-buhay kang magtatatrabaho!. Oh life!”

People seem not so aware that behind all our differences regarding our way of life, generally speaking we are all but follow only one singular phase throughout our lifetime. Phases which consist of routines that we obey devotedly and will continue to be followed by the next generation without ever questioning if it still valid or whether they being robbed of their freedom to create and make their own path because in instant they are given sets of “programs” that they must follow or else, society will shun them and be known as deviants.

Though because of its too much commonality, less people didn’t even have the time to waste to ponder the statement above if it’s really worth it to spend a decade within the walls and halls of rigid academic training and in the end you’ll have to work and make money for your entire life. Before you give you’re violent reaction to this, let me say first that in a real sense, nothing is wrong about it. From studying then to working is the right transition towards real learning and growth. Academic life teaches us all the theories, buffing our minds with knowledge and honing our active as well as dormant skills. Working, on the other hand is the final culmination to test whether we are ready to execute what we learn and practice all the knowledge what we have. Thus, this is the output of the 14 years burning your eyebrows and exhausting your parent’s pocket. So it really makes sense that after studying we should better step our gas to work and flex up (again) our mind and body to test our ourselves (besides the other personal reasons like we have to work to help our parents, get rich and make both ends meet, etc) if we are ready for what they coined as the REAL world.

But let us see this in a different perspective: We study to learn and gain knowledge. This knowledge is our bread and butter to survive and grow in this world where it seems to be more like a “jungle” of civilized individuals who ought to struggle zealously in order to live for themselves and for what they deem as important. That’s how valuable knowledge is; it is an invaluable weapon and probably the only thing you need to scale into the heights of living. Good thing is, knowledge can be acquired in the form of education. In school, we develop and hone the knowledge we need until we became ready to specialized in certain areas of studies and finally, be able to get a degree and graduate. I believe that’s the reason why it takes us almost a decade spending our days reading, writing, listening and speaking because it is the period to lay down our foundation towards our growth, and without focusing in our foundation, the percentage of getting lost in the jungle is slim and worse is, we might end up as the first man to preyed upon.

How about working then? Why we have to work for our entire life? As I stated above working is where theories are tested and when we have to practice all that we gain. That is by far what I know about why we are working but knowing this world is just as complex and trivial like the human mind, working so far has a primary definition to boot now: to make money. That is, as I quote from someone I know is a “practical” mindset that prevails most of us now. Again, there is no evil in making lots of money, but straining your mind and body for 8 to 5 for 5 or even 6 days a week for money alone is something really bothering. Of course you can’t blame some of our poor brethren that due to poverty and famine, they become driven to gain money to uplift their lives. But if there is something more appalling than living in rags is the fact that these conditions lead many to a mentality that totally corrupts; a mentality where all that matters is the concrete and material (money) and not the impalpable yet free (learning).

How many of us are now working for the sake of improving our talents, skills and abilities? I bet if you ask our generation today why they have to work is because they need money and they want money because they want to help their parents, give back to all the sacrifices they made in order for them to have the much coveted diploma or maybe a medal too. That’s highly ethical and nonetheless, a reasonable mindset of the youth today. But I fear somehow this kind of scenario knowing that working is not just a way for us to stack some bucks. Working is an extension of a never ending learning and growth. Thus, it is better to say that we will learn and study for the rest in our life. The only thing that will change here is the setting (from academic to work place) but in virtue, nothing is really different between staying in school for 14 years and working for the rest of our lives because the theme of learning and growth is constant and unbreakable. I wonder if there are still number of individuals who think like those people from the past who, despite the fact that money matters even those days, manage to work for the sake of learning. And what’s the result? They change the world. Of course at first society see them as mad and even odd. No one really gave them any appreciation since they are not “in the crowd”, they didn’t follow the given phases of life that everyone follows without a question. And who gets the last laugh in the end? Them; the misfits who see that nothing can top learning and studying, not even money or riches nor the way the world will see them.

I know I did blabber too much now, but my point only is that studying shouldn’t end after 14 years. It should be continued even when we are done with books, when we grow tired of wafting chalk powders and filling all the pages of our notes. We can learn so much more when we begun to work too. My only concern is that is let’s change our typical perspective that to work for a life time is a burden and we only need this to survive. No, working is a brand new opportunity for us to grow more and become a better individual equipped with all kinds of knowledge that we wanted to gain. No matter how simple or how complicated, how trivial or significant your work in the eyes of many, you should always be proud because with that work of yours, you are continuously becoming a part of the endless cycle of giving and receiving knowledge. For learning is life itself and for the whole days of our lives, studying and learning never stop even if the ink of our pen runs dry.

“Mahigit 14 years kang mag-aaral, pero and totoo habang buhay ka talagang mag-aaral kahit may trabahaon ka na. That’s life!”

Sleep Me Not

Alright fellas! For the past weeks i ponder and ponder and now i finally decided to continue posting stuffs here at my blog. Man, i really miss this much. For this month, lets get going into a place called slumberland and why some refuse to enter the realm of dreams and nightmare. Hope you like this poem and please wish me more of inspiration for my next post hahahaha. 

Sandman is knocking at my door

But i forfeit his existence now

Because i will never close

my eyes

and drool for tonight

My bed is a trap

so i have to 

escape and see

the city of dark

Twinkling little star

how i wonder

If i belong to where you are?

Strange wind is lifting me high

like

the world and me become one

Tonight i dont mind

if nightmares and dreams

came to life

Wet pillows

and blankets

that clock that keeps 

on working mad

Sweet lullabies

and the Dream kings touch

All of them i will push

aside for a while

because im tired of sleeping

and days are so long to 

spend working and weeping

So tonight

I dont want to close my eyes

and swim into

the sea of slumberland

And if by the time

Hypnos caught me by surprise

I'll just sleepwalk

towards the magical yet terrifying

waking life

Even if my blood runs dry

and my eyes become heavy and black

I'll be alright

at least for now

Why God...Why?

"Why is it that a God of all knowledge, love and wisdom, couldn't think of a better way of forgiving our sins rather than having Jesus Christ crucified in the cross?"

Questions are not totally made to make people become confuse. Most of us tend to avoid as many questions as we like in our lives. Reasons may vary why we flee from questions and probably one of the top in the list is that simply we don’t want any complications. But still, we can’t deny the fact how important questions are in our lives. We might not have all the answers to them but sometimes seeking the right question is as important as seeking the right answers.

A friend of mine who have a knack for thought provoking ideas that never failed to amuse me posted one day in facebook  a question that give me a sheer eagerness to answer instead of shunning it. The question is sound like this: Why despite God’s infinite wisdom and knowledge plus his eternal love for mankind decide to let his son Jesus to suffer and in the end die in the cross to save mankind from its impending doom because of sin? Of course that made me think somehow that God is so intelligent and undeniably kind but why he choose and let Jesus die and experience an almost inhuman pain for our sake instead of other way since given the fact the he is omnipotent. He could choose much simple way with no blood or no foul. Without any life to be shed and without any agony to endure by anybody else. God can just say “You are save now!” and voila we will be saved so what’s with the crucifying an innocent man just for salvation if there is so many easy and simple way to accomplished it?

As a striving Catholic for 20 years, I can totally give one good reason why God choose that way of making salvation possible. In a Christian perspective, God let Jesus died in the cross because he love us so much that he will give up his son in order for those who believed in him will not die (of sin) but will gain an eternal life. That’s one of the most used and popular verse in bible found in the book of John chapter 3 verse 6. Key word there is LOVE. Nothing really subtle or secret, only God loves us dearly and truly that’s the kind of love we needed most in our lives!

But since I know my friend (and some of you who might read this) have a different views on religion, existence of God, Jesus divinity etc, I decided to dig some stuff that might give us another perspective on why God chooses Jesus to die for us to be saved. Well, firstly before I gave my thoughts about please do keep in mind that this is my own personal opinions so if I might offended some of your beliefs, I’m deeply sorry for it. My intentions are not like that and I deeply respect whatever the beliefs of those who might read this. I write this article because of the question itself just give me a sheer spark in my brain that I have to share it to others whether it will inspire you or whether it will just be forgotten just any other thing in this world.

The first reason I think why God chooses someone like Jesus to die is because it is the natural order of how things work and it must be followed accordingly. Since God is the all knowing being who exist before the whole universe, it is safe to say that he also created the natural cycle of things in this world. One of the natural cycle im talking about is practically revered by scientific minds because it is the foundation of all the motions of everything matter. This is the 3^rd Law of Motion which states that “For every action, there is an equal opposite reaction” (kudos to Isaac Newton). Everything that is moving is subjected with this law and for the almost a millennia, scientist continuous to use this law especially in Physics. But this law is not confined only with spatulas, test tubes and microscope. This law also governs our life for we are all in constant motion; we are always under the spontaneous changes in our lives. Everything that we do has always its effect or consequences that can directly or indirectly manifest in our lives. In spiritual sense, this is what we called as Karma. We are in a never ending cycle of making a cause and accepting its effect. This is also what is stated in the law of equivalent exchange (to gain something, you must lost something of equal value). These are the prevailing laws in our life that science and spirituality both nod in agreement. And God, with all his supreme knowledge definitely knows how this law works perfectly since after all, everything came from him. Saving lives is not an easy task; however saving countless lives is astronomically hard! But it is not possible if and only if you can do such thing that can equal or outmatch the value of difficulty of salvation. And what better way of making this came to life than to offer a part of God to us in the form of Jesus? Remember that what we are talking about saving the lives of mankind from sin which eventually lead to death.  There’s nothing that have the same value as life itself. Only life can equate also the life of others and God without a doubt knows that in order to save lives, he has to give the life of his son which by no means, He and his son are one and the same(the mystery of the holy trinity). That makes it look like God gave himself for us to be alive once again making it outvalue the effort needed to bring us back and be saved. Thus, this leads us to the concept of sacrifice.

Ever since before the old and primitive man begun to establish themselves as a rational and pragmatic being, they first become much closer to the spiritual intuitive way of life. They revere and worship things that they conceive to be supernatural and beyond their comprehension like the weather, animals and even common things like rocks and plants. That’s how religion begun to play a major role in their lives by allowing themselves to feel the inner energy of these things through rituals and ceremony (which is up until now remains the same and continuously practiced). Religion might differ in many ways including their methods of worshipping but I believe that behind these difference lies one theme that is utterly common to their practices. This is the theme of sacrifice and offering which trace its roots during the times when gods are in the form of rains, thunders, fires and other forces of nature. During those times, man learns that in order to get what they wanted they need the intervention from the divine deities. And in order to attain it, they need to offer something to them and hope that will accept it. Sacrifices can be in form of burnt animal or even human sacrifices. It sounds too primitive and gory but it just reflects the understanding of man about God is not refined and still shallow during the older days. The practice of sacrifice becomes an integral part of humankind life after that: every time they need help to solve their problems or if they need some favors from gods and for protection first they need to sacrifice first. As time grows by, sacrificial things become more subtle and symbolic instead of literal. But still offering something to gain and achieve a thing is absolutely how life works. That is why God decided to sacrifice his son for there is no better way in achieving salvation than the way of how God made this world and how he maintains it; by doing it in the natural way of cause and effect, gaining and losing.

But could that mean that those laws stated above are greater than God since God should follow them instead of following his will? I don’t think so. God made those laws in the first place. He is the first to show us order and harmony should prevail to prevent chaos. And take a note that God is a fair being. He doesn’t want to bypass anything for it cancels out his persona as the one who maintain the natural order and balance in this world. Thus, he allows his son to die in the cross because that is the only way to give life to us. To simply put in a very brief equation, Life=Life.

Another follow up to the primary question that I’ve also read in my friend’s post it that why salvation should cost Jesus to suffer in a brutal and bloody fashion. Again, my answer is because that is also a natural way to make it possible. Jesus’ death gives way for us to have a new life; a life which is clean and holy and attuned to righteousness instead of pure hedonism. Notice that the natural way (again) of things is for every end, there is beginning. For every death comes a rebirth. It’s cyclical of give and take in an extremely endless manner. Death is important for without it Life will never commence. Remember that before the great age of Renaissance (Rebirth), the Black Plague reap almost half of the population first. Therefore there is no other thing to claim the life of mankind but by giving a life in return. I bet God knows that so well since after all, he is both the end and the beginning of everything (Alpha and Omega) so why would he choose any other way than that if that is the nature of his acts and identity?

There you go! Again this are just my opinions or ideas regarding that question. I know all of us have lots of questions about God and all his ways and acts. But to be honest guys, I’d rather just believe rather than ask all the questions I can muster with about him. I’m not against questioning since like they said, to obtain the right answer one must learn to formulate the right question. But when it comes to things that even the great geniuses and experts have no idea how to explain and understand, I’d rather let faith instead of rationality and intellectuality drive me to the right answer. Sorry and Thank you.

Hiyaaa! Thus!

Finally! I land a quite nice job after 2 months of waiting in vain (those two months can be a bit of torture but anyway its just me exaggerating things for fun hahaha). I'm currently working as a data researcher/encoder in a small business which will take 2 hours of travel from our home. I did accept the job and i'm totally aware that its not very convenient due to proximity factors. Our work is more associated with computer based type of work but  we do have some writing skills needed for particular jobs. The salary is also decent by the way so i take my move into the game and im quiet enjoying my work there.

But of course i still hoping that in due time i can ultimately land a job which revolves one thing i love most: Writing. The biggest drawbacks when i finally get a job is that i lost time focusing on writing some stories. As of now during my spree time i try to read some novels just to make sure i can still feel connected within the realm of creative writing. So far i finished reading the novel Assassins Creed: Renaissance and im currently reading Paulo Coelho's Zahir.

Ive decided that i really should bought my own personal laptop so that finally i wouldn't have to go head to head with my sisters when it comes to who will going to use HER netbook. Yeah, i really have to save more money hahahaha (ika nga nila kailangan ko ng magpundar ng gamit lalot may trabaho na ako).

And so with that, i will keep on being a writer in hope that maybe after a year or so i can publish something out of my sheer brain which is now currently entangled with real life things (but nonetheless still remain true to the bizarre yet fantastic world of fiction)

Ultimo Magnus Opus

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” ― Thomas Mer 

In a town that resembles the sophisticated and exquisite living of ancient Paris and Italy, people treat art not just an endeavor or an output of aesthetic spring well of their minds. There is neither religion nor science in this place but the only thing they revere and give such an effort to master and develop for their life time is to create the Ultimo Magnus Opus, the master piece of all master pieces. This is no limited to composing complex and euphoric sonatas or painting of other worldly subject using the most bizarre medium. Everyone aspire to be the maestro that will captivate not just the senses of people who’s focus is strictly in physical sense but nevertheless they wanted nothing but to transcend the soul of man through arts; to evoke the fleeting highest experience more akin with spiritual enlightenment ( or perhaps even more than that) . This is their way of living and this is how they make their way into the grave: as an artist. It is safe to say then that this place is never running out of creativity and resourcefulness. Every citizen in this place regardless of their status in life possesses an innate inclination towards different kind of artistic expressions.

The news boy is actually an expert lute player. Besides dough and bread, bakers also shape and mold words into delicious poetries. An old kinder garden teacher can compose a brilliant toccata while singing with puerile songs for the children. Inspectors and policemen are magnificent dancers when they are not busy pursuing vandals who always paint large murals that, although masterfully made, consist of repugnant themes. Even that mute and dingy vagabond that always beg for alms in front of the Cathedral can sketch all the establishments and face’s of the people just by looking at them with his glinting eyes.

Everything they made is for the sake of art for art is their god. Their alpha and omega.

There is a saying in this Elysian field for artist that the blood of its people are not just color red but the shade of all the colors of the rainbow. Though many are into many forms of art, majority of them have a highest subtle regard with painters who are creators of vivid and if not almost real images with just a flick and swish of their brushes dip in dizzying and unknown combination of colors. Painters are worshipped and adore more than any kings and queens in the throne. That kind of treatment seems enough to entice young and aspiring artist to compete with one another to create the Ultimo Magnus Opus through the canvas. Among those young bloods who choose the canvas as the medium of his dream to create the still elusive opus (which is also still belong to the causal plane for it still haven’t manifest in reality) is Kane van Deem. But unlike his competitors who have the resources and excellent talent with colors and strokes, Kane is quite inferior. Born as an orphan, at the age 10 he works as an artisan to support himself. Obviously like his people, he has the inborn prowess in arts. He had begun to paint at the age of 11 (which is quite too late for children in that place begun painting and composing at the early age of 5 until 7). His first art piece is a portrait of a stranger; a lady that he always see in the cathedral every Sunday.

 His co – workers who are artist themselves regard his work as too simple and average, lacking of spark or anything that will be a potential for the ultimate master piece. He just use a worn out canvasses of a vain painter that is too good to throw away all his old canvasses every time he create a mistake of splashing the wrong color in his first stroke. His brush and colors are all improvised; he made a brush out of horse hair which he secretly cut from a horse in the stables of their master and his colors are leftovers from the art schools after they invade Baroque styled cathedral or the intricately designed wretched temple outside their town.

Clearly, Kane is out of resources to buy any high quality materials for his work. But that’s not the only dilemma he is miserably struggling too. While his contemporaries are already rich in their own way to provide materials for their master pieces, they also have far superior talents in painting compare to Kane’s too simple and too plain art works. Kane can only create paintings on the level of a toddles master piece in their town. It’s just a nonsensical speck compare to the tantalizing paintings of his acquaintances.

At first he believe that in time he can improved his average to below average master piece but as the quest to create the Ultimo Magnus Opus stretch to the farthest extreme, he found out that he lack of all the things a revered artist must have in order to continue towards the grand quest.

Years passed and artists become bolder to the point of trying methods that are beyond normal just to attain the much coveted works of art. Some dare to travel far realms of unimagined beauty to gain brand new insights while others try to cross the boundary between the living and the death to meet dead spirits to heed their suffering and turn it into inspirations. Many try a lot of unusual ways in creating more real and more subtle master piece but to their dismays, all is vanity underneath the sun. Worse is, tapping the unknown comes up with a horrible price yet the artist didn’t care at all with what they have to gave up to create the greatest art piece.

Kane heard a certain painter with the name of Burgson who travel into the depths of the Sleeping Primal Forest of the North. The forest is the known dwelling place of savage primal beast that isolated themselves to the human world ,for their savagery that even the wildest lion or wolverines cannot match, will bring death to men. Legendary dire wolves and bear with mystical fur of ornate patterns as well as the Nightmare, a gargantuan stallion whose skin is as dark as the night and its mane are like flames from the ninth hell are found in the huge and forgotten forest. Burgson manage to get the skin of dire animals including the fiery mane of the Nightmare to create an artwork of fantastic collage of furs and skins from these beasties.  However, before he finished his opus magnus, he transformed into feral beast and lost his civilized and stoic spirit. He run amuck in their hometown and devours anything in his sight. Elders say that he has been possessed by the Primal entities of the forest without him noticing it. Burgson didn’t finish his artwork for his life ended at the mercy of hooded executioner’s garrote.

The same fate also happens to the blacksmith of the town whose name is Asahir. He made a pact with the wizards of secrets arts that accidentally visit the town. The pact, as they say makes Asahir to gain access to the chaotic arts of arcane, the energy of pure supernatural forces said to combined in order to create the world. Asahir, a simple blacksmith who loves to paint landscapes learn to manipulate fire, water, and lightning. This, in his opinion is the perfect material instead of the ordinary oily color pigments used by ordinary and traditional painters. He uses the forces of nature to make an ethereal painting that will last for a lifetime. But as he tries to combine this wild and unstable energy, the whole town discovered that Asahir loses his mind. He didn’t able to command chaos, instead, chaos becomes his master and in turn his soul churns into the endless pit of void. Now, our blacksmith is locked in a deep foreboding dungeon laughing and crying and screaming. He act sometimes that he is burning in hell, or drowning in the vast ocean and in rare times, he call out the names of forgotten and abhorred gods.

But instead of getting scared, the people in Kane’s town become more obsess in searching and seeking inspirations and mediums to create the still uncreated master piece. The obsession turns to mania that later on consumes the people to unquenchable desire and spit them out for they are already losing their self and their lives just for the sake of art of course. Their craving for the Ultimo Opus Magnus let them forget to do their daily routines for their minds are always occupied in thinking how they can create master piece and what should they do to make it possible. Soon the whole town slowly turns into drudgery. The pompous town of benevolent art geniuses becomes a wasteland of barbaric men hiding under the skin and cloth of dignified artist.

Kane is now 20 years old and he stopped painting anything. He doesn’t touch any canvas or paintbrush for a year now. Still an artisan and utterly living in solitude, Kane felt more pity to his neighbors than himself. They are not the same anymore. The same people whose love for arts before are more like driven by humane passion rather than madness and disturbing zeal. He misses the way they embrace art and yet it didn’t possess them or the other way around. They co-mingle with art without dominating and submitting one another. Like blending contrasting colors to create a one single and harmonized shade of new colors, Kane’s town used to have that kind of relationship towards art. Different and yet complementing. Existing without compromising one another. Art and men are one and inseparable for they are one and a single entity that rule and reign to beautify this world.

Kane begun to ponder as he walk along the dark streets of his hometown. Tumultuous cries are heard in the entire town; voices of madmen arguing, debating, ridiculing one another to the point of bashing each other with their canvases and splashing one another with sulphuric colors. Burnt flesh and agony rose like a fetid smoke in the air. With a deep sigh, Kane stop for awhile in his track and look up in the sky. Even the heavens are all gone awry too with its black and grey stripes than envelops the whole town with a baneful radiance. Suddenly, needle like rain showers their town. Kane ran swiftly towards the nearby shade which is the cathedral in the western part of the town. He enters the cathedral all soaked up and chilling like he bathed with freezing water for an hour.

Their cathedral if you ask is an understatement of a real and typical cathedral. There is no image of saints or crucifix that fills the spaces inside the holy place. There are rows of chairs neatly organized with stained glasses of prismatic color greeted those who stay at the cathedral to paint or just to wind up. At the edge of its pathway, only empty alcove is seen by many. The cathedral is and always be an empty place since this town is established. No one knows why there are no any symbols or any motif of divinity inside of it. Rumors say that the cathedral is once a temple for an unknown god who died in the mountain of skulls and rose again after that. But today, the cathedral become a hallow place where artist who seek a silent refuge can practice or gain inspiration.

During the time when the people of the town is still sane and contented with doing their own best to create the Ultimo Magnus Opus, many visit the cathedral for they believe that staying inside while contemplating can give a sudden surge of inspiration that will lead you to create beautiful artworks. Unfortunately, when the people begun to go outside their town for their thirst for inspiration continues to dry their spirits, the cathedral become a deserted place. Only the beggars flock inside now for cover during rain or snow.

  

Although beautifully designed with stained glass of divine art works that boast of faces and creatures that only seen in the realms of the cosmos, no one has ever thought that this innocuous art work that surrounds the cathedral seems is  living and breathing art works. Kane, who is perpetually alone that time witness for the first time how this art came to life while lightning flashes outside; giving him a split second yet continuous light to witness it. At first he thought he is just hallucinating or perhaps tricked by the dizzying blink of light but when he focus his sight on the stained glasses, those creatures and faces begun to move and with just a minute they begun to came out in the art work, leaving the stained glass broken and shattered with their movements. They are somewhat slow but exude a certain ancient grace. Startled with fear that assault his mind like piercing daggers, Kane drop to his knees and cower. The sheer terror he felt that time clamp his feet and arms like a trap that left him open and vulnerable to something he still couldn’t comprehend.

Kane’s breath begun to shudder as he heard the footsteps of creatures coming forward to him. His heart begun to pound his chest like a sledge hammer that topples his rib cage. He closed his eyes and begun to chant words; prayers that he never recited nor speak off. Then unexpected silence echoes within the halls of the cathedral. Only the battering rain drops are heard with booming thunder that reverberate the walls.

A slanting ray of light begun to penetrate to cowering image of Kane like a bright and burning spear that carefully aimed his being. He felt a warm radiance that begun to invigorate him as if the brightness starts also to course through his veins in the form of fire, little by little driving away the tremble in his body due to sheer fear. Now, as if the shining ray gravitates him, Kane’s body begun to move towards the light. With curiosity laden with confusion and somewhat unexplainable feeling of benevolence, he stand up with his feet to find out where does the ray of light coming from.

The creatures from the stained glass now surrounded the 20 year old boy, begun to kneel as the light become much stronger. Kane realized that the light is coming from the circular ceiling of the cathedral. The light from the ceiling already match the brightness of the sun and yet it doesn’t burn nor singed his body. In Kane’s perspective, the mystical light shine like the noon sun but its radiance is as soft as the moon. A sudden surge of yearning and love make the young lad raise his arms into the light which is now washing the entire cathedral. As Kane look into the brightness that never blinds him, he acquired a brief visions of vast sea of stars, people with gentle faces and broad and vigorous wings, a tree with a long serpent coiled into it and a man between walls of waters that seems like he commands.

Before the vision end, the last scene that Kane has seen is a bloodied man hanging in a cross. The man look gentle and benign but sorrow and hardship is trace with every lines of his face. People around him are divided into people who mock and shout insults to him and group of people who are weeping and grieving on what happened to the man. Kane stare at him with much sympathy and sadness until the man in the cross stare at him too. His eyes, though smeared by his own blood, reflect an eternal love flowing from the man to Kane. The lad never noticed that warm tears are falling down his cheeks like water fall. He never felt something like this in his entire life. It is more subtle or heavenly sensation that nothing can be compared of. Even the much pursuit Ultimo Magnus Opus that nobody really has the capabilities to create for now in front of him the only person who can, without any paint brush or canvass, can manifest the real Ultimo Magnus Opus.

The man in the cross smiled at him as he reached out his hands to Kane. His hands are punctured with blood flowing it. The blood touched Kane’s forehead and with that, the man smiled to Kane and said that he can still save his people. Then everything fades away in an instant.

The heavy rain continues to roar and the creatures are already gone inside the cathedral. After the last vision he saw, Kane now is left alone in the darkness. His eyes still swelling with tears begun to twinkle or perhaps spark amidst the deafening thunder. Kane’s eyes begun to reflect eternal love that the man in the cross possess. Finally, the people will witness the Ultimo Magnus Opus.

Loud screaming accompanies the cracking voice of the thunder. Even with the harsh and cruel message of the heavens above, they never seems to care and continue to thrash one another in chaos. A man suddenly took his revolver inside his jacket and start aiming it to the quarreling people in the street. But before he pulls the trigger, a hand from nowhere grab his arm with a tender yet strong grip.

The man with the revolver looks at the man who stops him from starting a bloody carnage. He only sees a warm smile with gentle eyes that with a trace of slight sadness. After that the man didn’t know that he is now following the man. In the midst of turmoil, everybody stop as they feel the presence of the man with an inky red blood that flowing from his forehead. Within a minute the whole town followed the mysterious man as if they are seeing a being with overpowering aura of benevolence.

After half an hour, the town people find themselves inside the cathedral. Their attention is drawn towards the man who is now standing in front of them.

“I already know how to create it” said the man with his gentle voice.

“Create what?” the crowd though dazzled, ask in unison.

The man with bloodied forehead smiles at them as he took the revolver and aims it in his head.

In just a second the whole cathedral is filled with blood that flowing from the man in front of them. At first the blood color is red then suddenly it glows with radiance of heavenly kind. The blood spread along the walls, windows doors of the cathedral. Then the redness change into different shade of colors of rainbow. Within a minute the multi colored blood begun to paint something that make the people wallow in tears that never in their life have never been shed. Some tremble in their knees with unexplainably bliss. Others shout with joy that never have been seen in their faces. But few just stay silent as their breath are taken away for what they are looking for their in their entire life time has finally appeared right before their eyes.

The whole cathedrals become a big canvass where a painting of the town people is seen. They are laughing while merrily doing their day to day routines. The painting depicts the happiness that the people lose after they pursuit with the Opus begun to blind them, disabling their mind and spirit that the greatest art work lies not in the nonliving slender body of a paintbrush nor the smelly and countless pigment of colors or even the white blank canvas. The greatest master piece of all is within themselves when they begun to be find the human inside in everything they do. The human in which resides the perfect beauty of the heaven. The human where God reside as well.

That is the day when the people and the whole world begun to see the real Ultimo Magnus Opus. That day the sun becomes much brighter than before.

(Post) Book Review: The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

"The rock star of literature bring us another chilling yet magical tale of childhood memoirs"

I’m sure many of us can not just forget and throw away memories as easy as throwing the wrapper of your favorite junk foods. And I bet childhood memories are probably are as precious (perhaps more precious) than any kind of treasure the whole world can offer to us. The days of innocence and bliss is by far one of the most significant period of our lives that whether we are all grown up now and raising our kids and taking care of the bills, we can always have own throwback to our little world back then when superheroes are real and our imagination is the only limitation that we have.

But what if your childhood memory is something different from the normal ones? Something magical yet simultaneously terrifying that even adults would not dare to reminisce?

Neil Gaiman’s latest novel put us into the shoes of a middle age man who suddenly gain access to his seemingly lost and forgotten memory when he is only but 7 years old during the time when they are still living near a farm where a peculiar family lives.  Consisting of her friend Letty Hempstock together with her mother and grandmother they will play a big role on the man’s childhood as he encounter strange and scary experiences and creatures that are both intertwined with reality and fantasy that nearly endanger his life to the point of losing it together with his innocence and sanity. Of course I won’t spoil the story for you to have the element of surprise (and to me to avoid being bashed and threatened) but let me dissect it further by giving some chunks of ideas from the novel. The story’s plot is mainly attuned to a continuous flashback of the man’s memory beginning from his birthday where no one really comes for admittedly it is said the he is not a happy kid yet he is content with his life (I can relate to that so much) until he meet the Hempstock family and made his own adventure with Letty in a bizarre yet magical world.  Their encounter with the entity that causes a growing chaos in their community is actually the start of the complexities in the kid’s life that roughly and terribly affects his family and in time, he nearly lost it too .What is really satisfying with the story is that as it develop is the way Gaiman portray the whole scenes in the eyes of the children as he saw lots of things that ranging from nightmarish to almost explicit ( hint: there’s a “Legal Wife” issue on the story but it is beyond the normal trend) sight that little by little he face with a brave soul without pushing himself to be a mucho-macho wannbe but just a plain child who tries to solved things with hope and faith only in his arsenal. Later on the climax of the story, the kid will made a bold decision that even adults are having a problem to do sometimes: to sacrifice himself to save everyone else. Gaiman created a small protagonist against conflicts which is beyond anyone’s capability to endure and yet he made it possible in a terrific and witty way without making it too glorified but simply thrilling and at the same time scary ( it’s his style to create stories that are seems  deceptive and yet beautifully executed). 

I also love the way he puts the antagonists in the story that made me confused at the middle of the climax if whether they are the real opposing force or whether just like what the grandmother of Letty say’s: “they just doing what is their nature”. Perhaps we can gain insight about this as we go along our own life that nothing really matters whether who is good and bad but what matters most is how we strike the perfect balance between being who we are and how we will live to by not meddling with other’s own way of life. But that’s another argument to be discussed later on this blog.

The ending will make some readers quite in the cliffhanger room but we all know this makes the whole story delicious and tasty in our minds. Though the novel is somewhat short, it never runs out of vivid moments that twinkle with rich storytelling prowess of Gaiman with his matching fantasy and grim themes that leave you wonder if all memories are worth to be forgotten or worth to be treasured.

The Ocean at The End of The Lane is available now at your nearest National Book Store. By the way it’s my first time to write a review so please understand how and why I rant this way.